The coming dawn

You know what time of day I hate?


It’s a leftover from the really rocky days with Tina…when we were at our worst. It’s like I lost all ability to tell time were it not for sunrises. Dare not ask me which day of the week it was.

Worst run I can remember, 17 days with what I could account for as 3 hour-or-so “crack naps”. I was beyond psychotic by that point but was aware that enough to tell folks you really do get a second wind at the 2 week mark! I remember being SO proud of that “research”.

My limit today..24 hours period ! It’s a very very rare exception I break that rule and now I force my body to rest even if sleep is evasive.

So back to dawn, that pesky peeking light, how’d we get there?

Inevitably there was the party that started the night before (or the night (s) before that) with some guy (s) met in the Internet, the getting ready, the waiting for the guy (s) to get there, the waiting on the supplies to arrive, the intros, warms ups, blast offs and then time is no longer something that is relative; it becomes a blur. It suspends.

That is until the sun starts to peek around the curtains or through the blinds or begins to bathe the ceiling above the windows in a soft light (if you are lucky enough to still be on your back at this point lol). It starts out grey blue, then to a pale blue, soft-soft yellow and then a full on glorious golden sunrise.

My eyes hurt.


It’s a buzz kill a, reality check; the world suddenly and rushingly impeding on my happy place. The light calls for a start to an end, a slowing down and closing shop or a get up and get going depending on your schedule. Either way in the distance I can hear Rosemary Clooney singing “The Party’s Over”.

“Over? I think to myself, “we are just getting going, right?”

Some day I’ll have to tell you about the dark, why I’m more comfortable there, why I love it but that’s indeed a whole ‘nother blog isn’t it?

At least I know that, for today, my eyes will be closed in slumber when that light starts to creep in this morning. The partying is taking a little holiday and I am resting mind, body and soul.

I wonder what Rosemary would sing for that?

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