I’m guess you could say I’m having a “Night and Day Experience”

My Daytime and Nighttime worlds could not be more different

You see, 2 years ago I quit meth..just like that.

No withdrawals, no pain, no fuss, no muss.

No treatment (I’d been 7 times before, already), no Meetings (at first), no Medications, nada.


I’d been going for 6 long years, on and off, and by then I was a daily user. I’d gone thru my bank account, managed to alienate virtually everyone in my life, I couldn’t get high anymore (no matter how much I did), my come downs were awful, the time it took to find a vein was hours longer than a high would ever be and even the spun out tweakers didn’t want to stay with me any more.
So that’s Day !

I stayed clean for almost two years. Double my normal run at sobriety from meth.

I loved my life. It’s was QUIET. It was DRAMA FREE. I was healthy. I reestablished relationships with friends. I bought a home. I adopted a dog. And I turned 50 all at the same time. Wholeness had returned.

Just as I celebrated my 18 month milestone I got an itch for just ONE brief “Tina Vacation”. I had said vacation planned down to the second and would have myself a very small limit and NO more. I was even going to smoke it ! The plan called two and a half days of abandon and I’d be back at the wheel of my life by Monday AM.

You know where this is going, right? Said week turned into a week, and the week turned into a month, and the month into the summer and the summer into the fall and well were about at winters end now, aren’t we?

So that’s Night !

And here I am.

Staring down the barrel of reality.

I never really called it a “relapse”.  I always hated the word. But one can only co-sign their own bullshit for so long before reality comes to sit with you during the long nights. And he’s been here for quite some time. We’ve become well acquainted!

There’s one thing stopping me.

I have a wall I have to go over when I stop. You see, the meth triggered a manic phase for me. I rather enjoy the immensely productive facet of mania. But it’s what comes after I fear the most. 60 Days on the nose. Like clockwork, a tidal wave of bone crushing depression awaits me. The crash far worse than any exhaustion or depletion that comes from using. No med adjustment on earth is going to stave this one off. It’s time to brace for rough waters ahead.

And I’m terrified!

Thankfully I happen to have an Ace that even Tina can’t trump. It’s something as built into my DNA as are my blue eyes. It’s that I refuse to give up. Ever. And under any circumstance. It’s simply not in my make up. If it takes stopping 50 times then I’ll extract myself from her claws 51. This is NOT and acceptable ending to my story.

So brace yourselves.  You’re about to journey into the belly of the beast with me. The crash will be hard and messy and soul bending. But my job now is to bend in the storms high winds but not break.

And I sincerely hope that those of  you that are reading this will share your stories in return. It’s is your victories AND moreover your struggles that will provide the light out of the darkness to guide my way.

So…..there you have it:

Installment 1 of “My Resurrection, Tale 10” 😏

Off to the task of rebuilding I go.

The timing of it all literally JUST hit me as I penned these last words. We’re about to celebrate the greatest of all resurrections. And suddenly, I can’t think of any better time to stop.

And with that…


Ok so you’ve come home from a night (or 3 days) of partying and your body feels like all blazing hell. Your skin is as dry as the Mojave Desert, your lips are cracked and peeling, your eyes feel like cotton balls and meth mouth has set in. I mean let’s get real people. We were basically ingesting Drano; our bodies are bound to have some adverse reactions, right?

When I stop partying or roll through the door the first thing I do is take what I fondly refer to as a “Tweaker Bath”. I’ve experimented with tons of different products and this is a list of what I’ve found to be MOST effective to restore my body to a normal condition.

And before anyone asks no I’m not affiliated with any company and am not promoting any product. This was all trial snd error to find things that worked best.


1. Epsom Salt. Add one cup of Epsom Salt to a warm bath. Do not use hot water as it’s too caustic for meth’d up skin. Any brand of Epsom Salts will do. You can usually find Epsom Salt for super cheap at the Grocery Store. Soak for 15 minutes. Be sure not to wet your hair in the Salt water, Salt is deadly to hair. Add 5 drops of Lavender Oil for a soothing scent.

2. Oil of Olay Body Wash. I then scrub with Oil of Olay Body Wash. It’s by far the best at producing a thick soapy lather. Use one of those plastic bath sponges to get rid of any remaining meth oil/film/smell.

3. Bumble and Bumble Full Potential Shampoo and Cream Rinse. This stuff is amazing for restoring your hair from the effects of meth and all the sweating that comes with it. After your soak / scrub bath take a shower solely for the purpose of washing your hair. Shampoo as normal and then heavily apply the cream rinse. Only rinse out half the Cream Rinse and style as usual. This allows the conditioner to keep working on your hair. This is a little tricky to find but if your local mall has a Sephora Shop they carry it.

4. Good Seed Citrus and Green Tea Body Lotion. Available at Amazon. This thick creamy lotion does wonders for dry (and sometimes painful) skin. Slather it on your legs, chest, feet, face and neck. Be really generous with the lotion.

5. Restoration Hardware Crack Cream. I kid you not that’s really the name of the product. Feet and hands need something more than just regular lotion because they dry out the most of any body area. This Cream (although a little pricey) works wonders to keep peeling at bay and restore your hands and feet to their natural state. It comes in a Leather scent, very manly, so you won’t smell like your Grandmothers Rose Garden.

6. Baking Soda. I always keep a box of Baking Soda in my Medicine Cabinet. To brush my teeth I wet my toothbrush, apply the toothpaste and then sprinkle Baking Soda on top of that before I brush. It’s not the greatest taste but does wonders for getting rid of meth mouth.

7. Biotin. Next swish for 30-45 seconds with Biotin. This helps prevent Dry Mouth. Note: Biotin also comes in a small spray bottle. Keep it on your bedside table or in your “Tweaker Bag” and use several times a night while partying. Your mouth will thank you!

8. OR Peridex. If you have trouble with mouth ulcers (usually caused by lack of hydration) Peridex works wonders to clear them up. Swish for 30 seconds three times a day. This will cut your healing time in half.

9. Neosporin. Our nasal cavities are one of the hardest hit areas as far as drying out goes. Use your finger or a Q Tip and gently apply Neosporin to the inside of each nostril. Your sinuses will thank you. Also if you’re like me the sides of my nose get really dry and red. Apply a light coat of Neosporin to each side of your nose to speed healing.

10. Rohto Cool Eyedrops. These eye drops are a miracle worker for dry eyes. They are hard to find in stores but Amazon carries them. They have the slightest touch of menthol in them and feel great to the eye. Note: Never apply with contacts in your eyes.

11. Carmex. By far Carmex is what I’ve found to be the best at restoring dry, cracked and peeling lips. Take it with you and apply thru out the day.

A note about cologne. I exclusively wear Angel perfume. I normally get tons of compliments on it wherever I go. That said when my body is still processing meth Angel smells like Midnight in the Barnyard on me! I kid you not. Instead of your normal cologne find an alternate scent that works with your altered body chemistry and wear that for s couple of days. I found XOXO mi amore did the trick for me.

I usually follow this intense routine for 2-3 days depending on how long I went and how much impact my body took. It used to take me a full week to recover now it’s 2 days, 3 tops! It does take some effort and there’s a cost involved but I wouldn’t trade it for the stellar results I get.


Don’t forget to EAT something (yogurt, bananas anything with protein are good), SLEEP to restore your bodies natural rhythm and you might as well take 3 Advil…not for the headache you have now, for the one you’re gonna have 3 hours from now.

Peace Out

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