when iT goT quieT

Tweaker True Word

It’s sad when you realize the group of friends that you thought were so supportive and amazing aren’t really that at all. They talk about always being there for you but when it comes time you’re all alone and when they ask how you’re doing and you don’t know if you should tell them to fuck off or if you should tell them how you cry on your bedroom floor each night because your so fucking broken and can’t keep a needle out of your arm so you just half smile and say “I’m ok”

 

The day I stopped carrying a baggy in one hand and a $50 bill in the other is the day my world went silent

It was the longest I’ve ever been

And the silence was deafening !

Tweakers are NOT your friends! 

we have our momenTs…

You know, the moments when your gut tells you this has all been going on too long, or it is starting to NOT look pretty, and that a break is badly needed, and how long that break lasts, well that is yet to be determined.

It’s simple…

I didn’t like what I saw again.

I was too amped, too shaky, I lied to cover my tracks, I focused on the phone/computer and not my guest for the night (always searching for the next one), I forgot to eat and also hydrate (a sure death sentence for my comedown), and I did too much, period, end of statement.

And then it happens.

I see myself in the mirror…sweaty, shaky, wide eyed, over amped, pale and splotchy, and unable to stop the moaning sounds that are emitting from my body. I no longer recognize who I see in my own reflection.

You get the picture.

Well, I’ve always said one absolute thing about my life with Tina:

If the DRUGS or the BOYS ever fundamentally change me, I’ll change the DRUGS or the BOYS, or BOTH!

Looks like I’m changing BOTH!

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: