Truth be told I prefer to party at home for the simple reason that I know where everything is and I hate to drive when I’m using, WAY too risky in my book. The first couple of times I “traveled” I dropped my stash in my underpants and away I went. (Note: Sober until I got to the party site)

The lesson I quickly learned is without other essential supplies and some common sense safety measures I was:

A) Not fully prepared, and

B) Putting myself at unnecessary risk

SO I learned to be prepared and safe. I now, if I travel, take my “Tweaker Bag” with me.

Tweaker Bag Contents

1. Your SPARE car key on a LARGE key chain. Leave your house keys and any other keys in your car, especially if your host or guests know where u live. Take in ONLY a single key to your car. The idea of a large key chain? Makes it easy to find if you’re in a hurry to leave.

2. Your Drivers License in a Zip Lock Freezer Bag. Never ever take your wallet or credit cards to a party location. You’re just asking for it to be stolen. Just take your license and again the large freezer bag makes it super easy to find and prevents loss since it’s so small.

3. ONLY the stash that you will use. NEVER take your entire stash unless you plan to see it all consumed by the party host or guests.

4. OR Cash. Just the appropriate amount to cover what you’ll need to use. NEVER take large amounts of cash or your checkbook with you. Please make sure any arrangements for chipping in etc..are worked out with the host BEFORE you accept the final party invitation. NEVER take your Debit Card out to party. That’s asking for theft and is an open invitation to get more cash and party as long and as hard as you want. Bad idea!

5. If you point, take your OWN set up. NEVER use someone else’s. They could have just as easily rinsed it out with water and handed it to you. More on IV Use Safety to follow.

6. Towel. In case you sweat or take a shower. That way you know it’s clean.

7. Bottled Water. Always take bottled water and STAY HYDRATED! Getting dehydrated on Tina is one of the worst things you can do. It can lead to some serious mouth ulcers! I also suggest a bottle of Gatorade to replenish your electro lights.

8. Something to Eat. My two favs are Fage Yogurt (don’t forget a spoon) or half a Peanut Butter Sandwich. It’s important to put a little something on your tummy when you play. Meth can really screw with your intestinal track.

9. Biotin Spray. You can find this in the mouthwash section of the Grocery Store. Spray a couple times during play and it will really help with cotton mouth.

10. Carmex Lip Balm. It’s hands down the best product to keep dry lips at bay.

11. Deodorant. In case you take a shower.

12. Toothbrush and Toothpaste. Always be sure to brush your teeth at least once during your play session to help prevent meth mouth.

13. Medications. If you’re due for any medication bring ONLY that dose (s). NEVER bring your medication bottles with you. People love to steal and sell meds.

14. A Burner Phone. You can get a super cheap back up or burner phone at 7-11 or Walmart. Don’t put ANY contacts or data on the phone and NEVER take your real and primary cell phone to a party and play session. They walk faster than Bruce Jenner sprints! The old Flip Phone is best. Nobody wants those!

15. Phone Numbers. A written list of 3 Phone numbers for friends you know will rescue you and the number of a local cab company. You never know when you’ll need assistance getting home.

16. Eye Drops and or Contact Solution and Case. Use eye drops at least once during your play session and carry the contact stuff in case you have to take them out due to dry eyes.

17. A Back Up Pair of Glasses. Just in case you have a problem with your contacts or you misplace your primary pair. How else are you gonna see to get home?

18. A cheap Casio or Timex Watch. Make sure the watch displays Date and Time so you can keep track of time and space. Never wear your good watch or I suggest never wearing any jewelry of any kind.

19. Condoms. I’ll leave this to your discretion.

Don’t freak. All this will easily fit into a backpack or standard duffle/gym bag (my preference). I promise you won’t need a Louis Vuitton Steamer Trunk to go play !

Well that’s what’s in my bag and it’s served me well! Hope this helps you guys out and if you have any additions or suggestions you’d like to see in your “Tweaker Bag” by all means please add your thoughts to comments and I’ll update this post some day to be inclusive of the addictions.

The coming dawn

You know what time of day I hate?


It’s a leftover from the really rocky days with Tina…when we were at our worst. It’s like I lost all ability to tell time were it not for sunrises. Dare not ask me which day of the week it was.

Worst run I can remember, 17 days with what I could account for as 3 hour-or-so “crack naps”. I was beyond psychotic by that point but was aware that enough to tell folks you really do get a second wind at the 2 week mark! I remember being SO proud of that “research”.

My limit today..24 hours period ! It’s a very very rare exception I break that rule and now I force my body to rest even if sleep is evasive.

So back to dawn, that pesky peeking light, how’d we get there?

Inevitably there was the party that started the night before (or the night (s) before that) with some guy (s) met in the Internet, the getting ready, the waiting for the guy (s) to get there, the waiting on the supplies to arrive, the intros, warms ups, blast offs and then time is no longer something that is relative; it becomes a blur. It suspends.

That is until the sun starts to peek around the curtains or through the blinds or begins to bathe the ceiling above the windows in a soft light (if you are lucky enough to still be on your back at this point lol). It starts out grey blue, then to a pale blue, soft-soft yellow and then a full on glorious golden sunrise.

My eyes hurt.


It’s a buzz kill a, reality check; the world suddenly and rushingly impeding on my happy place. The light calls for a start to an end, a slowing down and closing shop or a get up and get going depending on your schedule. Either way in the distance I can hear Rosemary Clooney singing “The Party’s Over”.

“Over? I think to myself, “we are just getting going, right?”

Some day I’ll have to tell you about the dark, why I’m more comfortable there, why I love it but that’s indeed a whole ‘nother blog isn’t it?

At least I know that, for today, my eyes will be closed in slumber when that light starts to creep in this morning. The partying is taking a little holiday and I am resting mind, body and soul.

I wonder what Rosemary would sing for that?

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